dicklaxt
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Post by dicklaxt on Jun 29, 2015 12:33:53 GMT
I did not author this but thought it was funny I won't post such again ,sorry
When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Face book and Twitter.
I signed up under duress for Twitter and Face book, so my seven kids, their spouses, my 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twi tter with only 140 characters of space.
My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.
The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble, talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.
I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcasticall y say, "Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then, if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship...
When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.
To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions, checking bathrooms, and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.
The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them with me..
Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, "No, but I do fart a lot."
P.S. I know some of you are probably not over 60. I figured your sense of humor could handle it.
We senior citizens don't need any more gadgets. The TV remote and the garage door remote are about all we can handle.
dick
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Bayla
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Post by Bayla on Jun 29, 2015 14:43:04 GMT
Dick, You crack me up! I am under 60 - just - but I can identify with so many of your scenarios! As a family we don't 'do' FB or Twitter (my oldest ds says Twitter is for twits). Believe it or not, some of my kids don't even have smartphones. But it's wonderful because we actually communicate in relatively old fashioned ways instead. We speak on the phone, those that live near pop in to say 'Hi' with the grandchildren and our one concession to technology with those living further away is Skype. I speak to every single one of my kids (&/or their spouses where applicable) virtually every day, & occasionally if there's something we all need to discuss then we send out a group email and everyone chimes in with their responses. Bayla
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 29, 2015 14:52:11 GMT
I must admit, we use Facebook in our family and I personally also use Twitter and Instagram. Without Facebook it would be hard for us to keep up to date with everyone, as we have family and friends strewn all over the globe and Facebook enables us to connect with everyone instantly. Given that we have a teenager we are up to speed with all the latest technology, but I don't need much encouragement on that front Despite using all the latest technology we still communicate the old fashioned way as well, so I don't think it's all bad.
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dicklaxt
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Posts: 397
Open to constructive criticism of photos: Yes
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Post by dicklaxt on Jun 29, 2015 15:33:25 GMT
Dick, You crack me up! I am under 60 - just - but I can identify with so many of your scenarios! Bayla I didn't author that originally but had it on file as I knew I could get some use out of it.
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Post by Inspeqtor on Jun 29, 2015 17:04:23 GMT
Dick, My wife and I also do not do Facebook or any of those social media scenarios but our 2 daughters both do use that. I for one do not feel the world needs to know when we go on vacation or to the mall for that matter.... what ever it is that is talked about in social media. To me that is just inviting thieves to visit my home and wipe me out of what little I do own. I do like some of the new technology... When the Atari was first introduced I had to have one ASAP then all the games and what not that came with it, needed to have the hard drive accessory that cost extra $$$ then the dot matrix printer that cost a weeks pay I am in awe of the fact you ran a business for 30 years with 1800 employees! Do you mind sharing what type of business this was? Thank you for your very comical thread here
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Squirrel2014
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Where's that cup of tea ... ???
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Post by Squirrel2014 on Jun 29, 2015 17:35:05 GMT
Absolutely hilarious, Dick. You've definitely got a sense of humour As Bayla says, reading your post, really cracked me up! Thanks for giving us such a laugh Julie
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Madame
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Post by Madame on Jun 29, 2015 18:56:58 GMT
Haha.. I barely managed not to wet my pants. I'm on Facebook and Instagram. I also have a blog or two. My children come to me if there's something they don't know about.. well you know.. files and folders, peace and war and such things. (I don't know a fraction of some people here..) My husband don't "do" facebook but are very interested when I can bring some news. He didn't do iPad either, but now he can discard his pc. But it was painful at first.
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dicklaxt
Established Forum Member
Posts: 397
Open to constructive criticism of photos: Yes
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Post by dicklaxt on Jun 29, 2015 19:16:28 GMT
Dick, I am in awe of the fact you ran a business for 30 years with 1800 employees! Do you mind sharing what type of business this was? Thank you for your very comical thread here Please see my comment to Bayla dick
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Post by Sepiana on Jun 29, 2015 20:10:07 GMT
Dick, I am in awe of the fact you ran a business for 30 years with 1800 employees! Do you mind sharing what type of business this was? Charles, I don't believe this applies to Dick. He didn't write it.
I didn't author that originally but had it on file as I knew I could get some use out of it. This funny piece of writing is available on the Net (with variations). Here is one example.
johnjudyc.blogspot.com/2010/08/me-and-my-blackberry.html
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 30, 2015 2:16:23 GMT
I thought about this when I was having all the image posting problems. When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Face book and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Face book, so my seven kids, their spouses, my 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twi tter with only 140 characters of space. My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag. The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble, talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud. I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcasticall y say, "Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then, if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship... When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me. To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions, checking bathrooms, and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings. The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them with me.. Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, "No, but I do fart a lot." P.S. I know some of you are probably not over 60. I figured your sense of humor could handle it. We senior citizens don't need any more gadgets. The TV remote and the garage door remote are about all we can handle. dick Hi dick, yes a very funny piece and at first, like the other readers, I thought you wrote it although in the back of my mind I felt I had read this or something very similar before. Your post saying you didn't write it prompted me to go looking for it on the Internet. It appears you might have got the text from ascensionalumni.org/aawebsite/jim_de_letter.htmI don't believe for a second you intended to mislead readers into thinking you are the author, but the way you posted the text clearly had that effect. For the sake of completeness and clarity, perhaps consider enclosing text from other people in Quote tags (in the editor's toolbar) and quote the source. But thanks for sharing. I had a tremendous belly-laugh as I can relate to many of the scenarios ps.... I doubt you'll have any copyright issues with your post
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Post by Inspeqtor on Jun 30, 2015 4:15:52 GMT
Dick, I am in awe of the fact you ran a business for 30 years with 1800 employees! Do you mind sharing what type of business this was? Thank you for your very comical thread here Please see my comment to Bayla dick Hi Dick, I thought you did run a business for 30 years with 1800 employees. Even reading what you wrote to Bayla I still thought you had been a hugely successful business man now worth trillions in dollars!! It was not until I read Sepiana's post (Thank you Sepiana!!) that I fully understood what was going on. I am slow many times, and the rest of the time I am even SLOWER!
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Squirrel2014
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Where's that cup of tea ... ???
Posts: 685
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Post by Squirrel2014 on Jun 30, 2015 7:37:08 GMT
Hey, ditto, Inspeqtor - I was 'hookwinked' too, even after Dick's comment to Bayla. It was reading Sepiana's post that let the penny drop So, you are not alone!!! J
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 30, 2015 9:30:00 GMT
I did not author this but thought it was funny I won't post such again ,sorry
. . . dicklaxt - unless you got a 'please explain' pm from a mod please feel free to post other gems like this one. But as I posted earlier, for the sake of clarity and completeness, just enclose other peoples' text in quote tags and reference the source/author. Keep 'em coming
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Post by Inspeqtor on Jun 30, 2015 16:52:18 GMT
I did not author this but thought it was funny I won't post such again ,sorry
. . . dicklaxt - unless you got a 'please explain' pm from a mod please feel free to post other gems like this one. But as I posted earlier, for the sake of clarity and completeness, just enclose other peoples' text in quote tags and reference the source/author. Keep 'em coming Yes I agree! Keep them coming!!!
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